Figure out the Mystery....And STOP Comparing!!!

Okay this I don't get...There are days that I wake with what is considered to be perfect numbers....any thing between 80-120. And I feel so tired, exhausted and thirsty....and then there are days that I wake up at 200 and I feel like a million bucks. There are days when I'm going for a run and I range between 120-150 and I feel like poo...no energy! And then there are days that I am doing a killer work out on the escalator stairmaster and I could put it on full blast and run up the stairs but my blood sugar is at 180. To me it's seems to be mostly about...Are your cells getting the sugar they need or not? You could wake up at 80 but your body is barely getting what it needs....or you could wake up at 176 and you have plenty of sugar on board to fuel your cells. Just a hypothesis I have....

I am obviously new to this disease and will be learning for many many many years to come but I have finally figured out that, even though many aspects of this disease are a mystery, I have got to get over this constantly comparing my life now with what my life used to be before diabetes. I have got to figure this thing out as I go in the current moment.....NOW! There is no comparison! So stop it, Heather, Stop it!!!! But it's so difficult sometimes. I used to get up early, have two cups of coffee and go on a 14 mile run with no food or gel or sometimes any water. My friends would call me "the camel" because I rarely drank water on a long run. I'm not saying that I had good habits before diabetes but they were indeed habits. I used to eat whatever I wanted and drink whatever I wanted and could get up the next day and run a marathon. I ran a 3:45 in Boston with what seemed like little effort the day after celebrating with my family and having way too much wine the night before.

So I guess if I am going to be making comparisons...then diabetes is a good thing. I have gotten rid of alot of my bad habits that were mostly likely abusive to my body and I have stopped taking my health and how I feel for granted. I think way more about what I put in my mouth and the exercises that I do on a daily or weekly basis. I have to constantly think about how what I'm doing will affect my blood sugars....And overall...that's a good thing!

So pilates classes and yoga classes have gone well the last few days. I've driven up to LA three days in a row and have taken a total of 8 pilates classes along with a short run, a medium run, and 2 hot yoga classes. This morning I woke up at 88 and was so damn thirsty....It's weird to be thirsty in the morning when I have had no alcohol whatsoever in days. Obviously it's just from dehydration due to all the intense workouts. My trail run on Saturday was horrible....I felt like such an out of shape loser....I couldn't even run the entire 7 miles....my blood sugars were 112 when I woke up...hot tea instead of coffee and no food....113 before the run...I ate half a luna bar and no bolus.....half way into the run I was at 155 so I did a small bolus (.25 units) but at that point it was too late....my muscles were getting no energy and were already exhausted...I ended my run at 146 and felt completely defeated. Mostly because the last time I had done that run was with a couple of friends and I owned it!!! But that was also before I had diabetes.....Stop comparing!!!!

Until next time....blood sugar 130:)